my wedding… regrets and perspective (and today’s outfit)

Posted on 17. Apr, 2010 by in baby, outfit, wedding

Last night, we went to the wedding of one of my old friends–the first one of the season! Although I work in the wedding industry and communicate with brides and grooms throughout the year, it’s easy to sort of forget that when I’m working “behind the scenes.” When I’m not in the midst of the planning or blotting my eyes at the ceremony.

When I got married two years ago, I have to say that it wasn’t an extremely emotional day. It was a JOYFUL and BUSY day, but except for the big party we had that night, it didn’t feel like an unusual day.

I woke up that morning in my bed that had kind of dirty sheets and stepped over piles of clothes in my messy room.
I took a shower in my dirty shower.
I said hi to my roommate and searched around my room for the wedding shoes that I had decorated.

I met my mom for lunch and we got our hair done together. She decided that she wanted to buy different shoes, so we went to the mall where I ran into several of our wedding guests (funny!).

I didn’t have a limo full of bridesmaids.
I didn’t get a mani-pedi or a massage.
I didn’t eat a nice dinner with my family or fiance. (I didn’t even eat at all–never was able to work my way over to the snacks!)
We walked to our hotel room after the wedding. I was barefoot and carried my shoes.
We didn’t go on a honeymoon and the next day we went back to our messy house, roommate, and three cats, and full-time jobs.

As more of our friends have gotten married over the last few years, I admit that sometimes I feel envious of their grand plans, spa days, and Caribbean cruise honeymoons. Or when I see photos of them joyfully walking out of the ring shop with a little teal bag, or at the bridal salon where a couch full of girlfriends gush about the bride’s dress choices, I wonder if I missed out on some wedding rites of passage that would have made the day better. Should I have done those things?

But the things I do remember most from my wedding day are the most important things.

I remember how my mom and I laughed over our sandwiches at lunch and had fun going to the mall on a whim because we weren’t tied down to a strict schedule. I remember improvising my hairstyle with my stylist, and deciding to add the black bow at the last minute which was just PERFECT. I remember sitting in the hotel room we rented with my best friend Kristal and painting our nails together on the bed an hour before the ceremony. I remember stepping into the party dress of my dreams, custom made just for me, and feeling like the best-dressed girl anywhere in the world. I remember standing on stage with Dave during our ceremony and feeling so astonished at how many of our friends were in attendance there to support us, and being surrounded by a cloud of well-wishes and kind words throughout the night. I remember the tears in Dave’s eyes when I heard the vows he had written for the first time.

The next day, I remember Dave surprising me and driving to the zoo instead of going right home–we spent all day walking around outside and laughing at animals. And I remember going back to work that Monday and feeling pure gratitude–for the magical weekend we had just experienced with all of our loved ones, and for the life we faced together full of shared goals and dreams.

There are lots of things maybe we “should” have done. But I feel so grateful for the moments from that day that I carry with me, the memories that have stayed freshest in my mind. We planned a huge party that marked the most important transition in our lives up until that point, and it was comforting to wake up the next day and have the wheels keep on turning, you know? We were the same happy couple.

Maxi Dress: Forever 21
Shoes: Merona
Necklace: Erickson Beamon for Target
Cuff: Forever 21
Clutch: Vintage
Wrap: Vintage

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27 Responses to “my wedding… regrets and perspective (and today’s outfit)”

  1. lauren

    23. Nov, 2010
    1:29 am

    This post made my night, thank you<3.

    Reply to this comment

  2. Anthony

    24. Apr, 2010
    4:55 pm

    I used to work in the wedding industry and I always told brides that the best souvenir of your wedding day is your husband. It doesn’t matter how much money you spend on a wedding, if it doesn’t have warmth and meaning it’s just not that special.

    By the way, your wedding photos are amazing!

    Reply to this comment

  3. Rock 'n Roll Bride · Thursday Treats – 22nd April 2010

    22. Apr, 2010
    1:11 pm

    [...] – this is how to do it! ♥ Sealed with a (wax) kiss ♥ Alexander Mcqueen, fall 2010 shoes! ♥ My wedding… regrets and perspective by Princess Lasertron (I do this all the time!) ♥ Downtown LA loft wedding - yellow & black [...]

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  4. Teri

    21. Apr, 2010
    12:52 pm

    I used to work in the wedding industry and I always told brides that the best souvenir of your wedding day is your husband. It doesn’t matter how much money you spend on a wedding, if it doesn’t have warmth and meaning it’s just not that special.

    By the way, your wedding photos are amazing!

    Reply to this comment

  5. megan v

    19. Apr, 2010
    10:03 am

    I did something really similar to what you did with our wedding. Once in a while I think about the things that other people are doing but then I remember that I don’t “really” want those things for myself. They aren’t the things with true meaning. Most people do those traditions because they think they need to follow that format for it to be a “wedding”. What they forget is that it doesn’t make it a “marriage”. You and Dave have focused on your relationship and that IS the most important thing. No regrets!! Never, Megan!!! Your day was perfect for you because it was your day. Evan and I actually got ready together and everything. He helped me button all 26 buttons up the back of my dress!! Most people lose the true meaning of that day within all the commotion of the limos and bridesmaids and photos and fluff. Taking it down to what it was truly meant to be is the best thing you could do for a marriage. :)

    Reply to this comment

  6. CaLynn

    18. Apr, 2010
    10:44 pm

    Heya – I love this post. Our secret elopement meant I missed out on a lot of things. I had collected ideas for many many years and we dropped all the little details like center pieces and favors and even the invites which i always thought i would make by hand. I see other ideas and i say “well i didnt get to do that…it woulda been fun…” but the mood of the wedding was just US, and obviously I cant say for sure that yours was just YOU AND DAVE but it seems like it was and *thats* the perfection. PS I cannot believe the black bow in your hair was a last minute thought. It truly was awesome:)

    Reply to this comment

  7. Jenny Mick!

    18. Apr, 2010
    9:54 pm

    First of all – you look FANTASTIC! you know how I feel about maxi dresses :)

    I often feel that way about weddings in relation to mine. I wish I would’ve been making bouquets at that time :) , I with I would’ve done more to personalize the details, a custom dress would’ve been amazing, etc. I did have a pretty traditional wedding (bachelorette party in Vegas planned by my BFF, “regular” wedding day activities, honeymoon in Europe, etc.).

    But there are things about my wedding I wouldn’t trade for the world – tons of our friends and family were there, they had an amazing time and they danced ALL NIGHT, we hung out afterward at a friend’s house, I loved my dress, I loved my hair (although it’s weird to look at photos because it was highlighted then!), and Joe and I had an amazing time in Europe – our very first trip completely by ourselves.

    Your wedding was such a blast – and was so incredibly reflective of what fun, unique, and amazing people you and dave are! Guarantee no one will ever forget how special it was!

    Reply to this comment

    • Jenny Mick!

      18. Apr, 2010
      9:55 pm

      woops! obviously I meant I wish you would’ve been making bouquets at that time!

      Reply to this comment

  8. meg duerksen

    18. Apr, 2010
    8:10 pm

    you look AMAZING! wow!

    you can read all kinds of regrets on my blog. :)
    but i am so happy in the end that WE got married. to each other. and worked at it.
    the thing i regret the most….getting pregnant….not because of the baby…but because we “had” to get married.
    i still get very emotional hearing about people’s engagement stories. i didn’t have that. when you get engaged…that person CHOSE you. and put themselves out there hoping you will chose them back. i know that i don’t need that now….but i wish i had that. oh well….it all turned out great in the end anyway.

    you look SO good megan!

    Reply to this comment

  9. Merry WA

    18. Apr, 2010
    7:43 pm

    I guess we can all look back on things or events in our lives and wonder what if, but in reality we did what we wanted to do and what was right for us at that time.

    I too look back on my wedding day and think about doing things differently, but that was 20 years ago, so of course my thoughts and ideas have changed. Also, many of the things I would change are purely “cosmetic”, I would still have the same freinds and family there to celebrate this great day with us.

    Don’t live for the past!

    PS I love the goregeous little bird flags behind Alice’s crib.

    Reply to this comment

  10. Kelly

    18. Apr, 2010
    1:48 pm

    My wedding ceremony was definitely not unique (as it was a pre-packaged Vegas affair), but the DAY was different and special, for many of the same reasons yours was–the friends and family there to support us, the relaxed atmosphere, the laughing and fun all night long… those are the things that I remember about that day. I was never once worried about a schedule or about looking or acting just right. I was thoroughly enjoying my husband and friends and family.

    Even though our weddings were completely different, in those ways they were very similar.

    I had a ton of fun at your wedding, Megan. It looks like you did, too. And, really, getting hitched to the dudes we love and laughing all the way… those are pretty awesome memories to have.

    Reply to this comment

  11. Wendy Townley

    18. Apr, 2010
    9:46 am

    While having the pleasure of getting to know you these past few years, I’m certain a “traditional wedding” (whatever the hell THAT means) most certainly would not have looked well on you and the professor. I don’t mean that a mani/pedi on your special day would have looked ugly; it wouldn’t. But judging from the photos I’ve seen, your wedding ceremony and reception were one-hundred percent, without a doubt, unquestionably you. What good would it have done to organize a day where the details were pulled from some boring bridal guidebook? And given your creative take on bridal floral designs, the answer you’re looking for should be crystal clear. You rock, and should be pleased as punch, two years later :-)

    Reply to this comment

  12. Jen B

    18. Apr, 2010
    9:17 am

    I feel the same way sometimes. It wasn’t an overly emotional day for me. On my wedding day I felt extremely happy and beautiful. We went to Hermann, MO for our honeymoon, no sun or beach there :) The zoo was your honeymoon!

    What is so great is that you showed people that a wedding is about YOU. It is done how you want to do it! I know I had an awesome time at your wedding and I thought it was a fantastic wedding! It wasn’t stuffy, it was completely down the earf.

    Reply to this comment

    • Princess Lasertron

      19. Apr, 2010
      2:43 pm

      Your wedding was wonderful too Jen! I had so much fun and it was an honor working with you and being there that day. :)

      I still use my coozy too!

      Reply to this comment

  13. Karen

    18. Apr, 2010
    8:44 am

    When I look at your wedding photographs, I see everything one could ask for on that special day.
    Your dress is one of a kind-uniquely “you”, your family and friends surround you, the day looked lovely, and it appears that a wonderful time was had by all.
    A wedding is about the love you share-you spent time with your mom, doing things together instead of with an entourage. You weren’t on some crazy schedule with no time to spare, with strangers who were primping you and making you into the cookie cutter bride.
    Your day sounded perfect. You can always do that spa day and ride in a limo and go on vacation and stay in the best suite.
    karen

    P.S. Many of us are on “baby watch” now, Megan. If you don’t post, we wonder if Alice has arrived. Is someone going to update for you? It’s getting close!

    Reply to this comment

  14. Carrie

    18. Apr, 2010
    8:07 am

    oh my goodness, your wedding was inspirational for so many people. i think people look at your wedding and regret details of their own wedding. I know I do.

    love ya!

    Reply to this comment

  15. Alison Kelly

    18. Apr, 2010
    7:57 am

    You know what’s funny Megan? I have quite a few regrets from my wedding too … the same things you have slight envy about :) I wish I went with my original plan to get a more simple wedding dress. I wish I had a smaller wedding party to avoid the time/committment and scheduling that came with having one. I wish I spent more time with my mother.

    Sure I would change a few little things, but the fact that I can say I remember my entire wedding and still have friends and family saying it’s the best they’ve ever been too reminds that it’s being with your friends and family that really made a me bad-ass wedding. Not the dress.

    PS – you look a hot as usual!!

    Reply to this comment

    • Princess Lasertron

      19. Apr, 2010
      2:29 am

      That is interesting to hear! I’m sure everyone has some regrets. That’s why there are so many opportunities in life to have parties!!

      Tonight at dinner, Dave was telling me about how he sometimes regrets not having a bachelor party. I said, one of these days you can have a fake bachelor party and I’ll have a spa day with fake bridesmaids! Or something :)

      Reply to this comment

  16. bell

    18. Apr, 2010
    1:13 am

    We missed a lot of those things in our wedding too, but we had a super awesome day. and a lot of people that see our wedding pictures think (can see) that we’re like the happiest couple ever. so at the end I think those “things” doesn’t make such difference and are not so necessary.

    from your wedding pics it’s definite that you both had a great time. your dress is the most cute ever, and you both look sooo happy and you had a sooo very original wedding!

    as amanda says you should regret your decisions. and believe me… I wish I had known your blog BEFORE I planed my wedding. I would’ve cut out MORE unnecessary things and concentrate on having more fun and an awesome party.

    and you are the prettiest, cutest pregnant woman ever! <3

    Reply to this comment

  17. Susie

    18. Apr, 2010
    12:18 am

    I love that you’re wearing a maxi dress…it’s so cute! My sister is like, two weeks behind you, pregnancy wise, and I was trying to talk her into a dress like this this afternoon at lunch. And I think all that extra wedding stuff sounds fun…but I think in reality it can be so stressful that you’re not enjoying it. Like getting all the spa stuff, but being on a super time-crunch. And I’m sure there are loads of girls that look to your wedding as an inspiration for what they would want :D

    Reply to this comment

    • Princess Lasertron

      19. Apr, 2010
      2:23 am

      I love that dress!! I have a few that I’ve been wearing and I think they’ll be great for postpartum/breastfeeding/summer too. Great investment, especially at stores like Forever 21 with such cheap prices. They wash well too.

      thanks so much for your kind words :)

      Reply to this comment

  18. Christina

    17. Apr, 2010
    11:19 pm

    I agree with Amanda M. It’s refreshing to hear your story. It’s proof that even if you don’t spend ungodly amounts of money and time, you can still have a fun wedding that celebrates what matters. Bravo lady. :)

    Reply to this comment

  19. Amanda M.

    17. Apr, 2010
    11:13 pm

    I feel like when your wedding became an internet sensation, it was a huge inspiration to a lot of people who were tired of hearing from the wedding industry what they “should” do or what they “have to” do on their big day.

    Your instinct to zig when you’re told to zag and your ability to pull it off with such style and ease, and the fact that your wedding was so beautiful and still quirky and fun and unique was hugely important in that respect.

    I certainly don’t think you should regret your decisions. I’ve never liked the idea of what a person “should” do according to the industry. You created your own moments that were unique to your wedding, those are memories no one else can boast having.

    And I love, love, love the idea that your wedding day was just another day – like your relationship with Dave is, was, has been, and always will be so completely natural. It makes the wedding and the marriage and the dating before it organic, and the transition organic. I think there’s a certain poetry in that.

    Reply to this comment

    • Princess Lasertron

      19. Apr, 2010
      2:23 am

      thanks amanda. it was a totally organic transition and while somewhere inside of me I think I miss the pomp and fanfare, life just isn’t always like that. I make up for it with excitement in other areas of my life anyway :)

      Reply to this comment

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