alice elfie’s birth story (part 2)
Posted on 15. May, 2010 by Princess Lasertron in baby
This is continued from the first part of Alice’s birth story published here.
So I continued with hard labor throughout Friday night. Some of you who follow me on Twitter read as my husband and I posted throughout the weekend. It started out fun keeping everyone updated, but as hours and hours passed and I was not progressing, there was really little to say except “Hour 24. No news yet,” “Hour 36, no news yet,” “Hour 45, still in labor,” “Hour 50. Still no baby.”
On Saturday, our birth instructor Kristen came to serve as a doula for Dave and I. Dave was able to take a much-needed nap and Kristen continued to encourage me and help me relax the pain away. She stayed with us for almost 24 hours. If she had not been there, Dave and I would have felt like giving up. It got to the point where I felt so mentally foggy–not just because of the pain, but mostly because of the exhaustion–that I couldn’t hear what people were saying, I couldn’t understand the questions the nurses were asking me, and I felt completely detached from my own body. The contractions were double and triple-peaking, and with my eyes closed I felt surrounded by gray haze, floating down an endless foggy tunnel before me.
Hour 55. Sunday morning. My birthday. Mother’s day.
I had not progressed past 4cm although I had the emotional signposts of someone at 7 or 8cm. I felt like I was unconscious, floating down that tunnel, and Dave kept waking me because I would stop breathing. My doctor and nurses had a realistic concern that I would not be able to push Alice out unless I got some rest. It was the most intense feeling I have ever had, but I know I could have withstood the pain until delivery. It was the exhaustion I could not endure. I had not had food or rest in almost three days.
Dave supported me as I lay in his arms on the edge of the delivery table. My contractions came, double and triple-peaking. Dave and Kristen really gave me what I needed at this time–they knew my wishes and helped me advocate for myself and consent to have an epidural. It was completely painless to me and Dave carefully lowered my body onto the bed where I slept for the next three hours.
Three hours later, a nurse woke me up and told me I was at 10cm and they could see Alice’s head. I sat up feeling alert, calm, and determined. I could feel the waves of contractions but I could not feel my legs or bottom. I felt the pressure increase, and I felt the instinct to push. In the mirror I saw my daughter’s birth.
The end of my labor was so bizarre–I was completely out of my body. I was somewhere else, and the woman everyone was supporting and helping was just a shell. And then at the end, it was all over so quickly. It was over as fast as the rest of the labor had been slow.
58 hours.
I no longer felt any regret about having an epidural. Do I want to have one next time? No, I want to try again to have a normal, natural birth. I don’t feel like Alice’s birth was normal–the heavy unexplained bleeding, 55 hours at 3cm while my contractions triple-peaked–and maybe a natural birth expert would disagree with me. But Dave, my doula Kristen, and the nurses and doctors were right–I could not have pushed Alice out without getting some rest. I knew that the epidural could have led to a cesarean section. I knew it could affect Alice’s alertness at birth and lead to other adverse outcomes. But I was lucky to have a brilliant anesthesiologist who helped me reach my goal instead of disempowering me after all of the work I had put in.
It was my entire support team–Dave, Kristen, my mom, the doctor and nurses, the anesthesiologist, even the friends I made in the birth class–who gave me the strength to succeed. Without them I think I would have submitted to my own discouragement, which I never did.
I truly had my best birth and everything I did led to the best outcome for me. I am so proud of myself. And the best moment of my entire life was when the doctor lifted her onto my chest and I saw the tears streaming down Dave’s smiling face as he placed his hand on her back. My entire life. There was no way I could have prepared for how beautiful that moment was.
I love my little family. We are going to have so much fun.
43 Responses to “alice elfie’s birth story (part 2)”
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Katie
20. May, 2010
9:10 pm
wow my cousin is a mommy! i remember when you were the big highschooler and now your a parent. i cant wait to meet her, she is beautiful <3
Suezi Gurz
18. May, 2010
12:57 pm
thanks so much for sharing. tears in my eyes and just remembering my own birth stories. You described it perfectly! enjoy these precious moments they go by so fast! Congrats Mama Lasertron!
lori marie
18. May, 2010
11:32 am
beautiful story! thank you for sharing…. great job, mama:) congratulations.
Abby
17. May, 2010
8:44 pm
Amazing story…amazing strength and support that you had during this whole process, and I am sure, during your life to come. Congratulations again!
Sarah
17. May, 2010
1:43 pm
watching and reading about your pregnancy has really made me want to experience this for myself. good job! Alice is beautiful!
Leah
17. May, 2010
12:43 pm
congratulations on your new addition! and thank you for sharing your birth story…Alice is beautiful!
ashlie
17. May, 2010
8:21 am
Wow, after reading your story, I feel like I’ll be able to handle childbirth too! I’m due in December, and your story really gives me the courage to focus on what’s important and expect the unexpected! Congratulations, and good luck on finding your “new normal”!
Pamela
16. May, 2010
10:27 pm
That is a really long time to go with no rest! I’m glad you had a doula. I could not have done it either time without mine. It’s so good to have that voice on the same wavelength.
Welcome, Alice!
Hilary
16. May, 2010
6:58 pm
Wow! Your story is incredible. I am amazed that you could labor for 50+ hours- in movies and TV, birth always seems so quick!
It is wonderful that you and your birth team let Alice come in her own time. I think a lot of women are now “scheduling” their births via C-Section or Induction. I think it is great that you had a plan but had the wisdom and flexibility to accept change in the end.
Catherine
16. May, 2010
4:47 pm
Your story is wonderful Megan. I completely respect how hard you tried to have her without any pain medication but even more respectable is the fact that in the end you made the best choice for her regardless of your original plan. Being a mom is full of unpredictability and the best moms out there are the ones that can realize and handle that and make the best decisions for their kids and their family regardless of what others think. Congratulations on your precious little family. Alice is very lucky to have a mom and dad who care so much about her.
sue
16. May, 2010
10:45 am
oh I am almost in tears, what a wonderful story. So happy that everyone is doing so well/.
Kasia Fink
16. May, 2010
2:42 am
That was beautifully written and so incredibly honest and raw. Thank you so much for saying “It is okay that I wanted to be treated as more than a baby-bearing vessel”. It IS okay – it’s more than okay. And it’s also okay to feel what you felt when it didn’t go the way you imagined it. What you went through is incredible and powerful and moving. I’m about to go through this myself in a week or two and actually, I’m so inspired and uplifted after reading this. Thank you and congratulations. Welcome to the world, little Alice!
Princess Lasertron
16. May, 2010
2:44 am
thanks so much kasia for hearing me
I’ll be thinking of you and your little one. xo
alycia
15. May, 2010
11:10 pm
congratulations! you are so brave and i am so happy for you and dave!
Laurie
15. May, 2010
8:24 pm
Wow! You are amazing! To go that long, with that kind of pain is amazing. Alice is such a lucky girl to have parents that will be so focused on making sure her life is great! Thank you so much for sharing your story!
Mary C.
15. May, 2010
5:59 pm
What a wonderful amazing woman you are!!!!! You can tell you are informed and did what was best for you and Dave and Alice. You did awesome
meg duerksen
15. May, 2010
5:49 pm
amazing.
you are a birthing rock star!
i think i said to you that “it can’t take more than a day!”
but that was me assuming you were not against drugs.
apparently….it can take longer than a day.
you did it though.
you made it though.
and you received the best prize for all that hard work!
sarah
15. May, 2010
5:07 pm
Well done, you got there in the end! Congratulations on Alice’s birth, enjoy the next few weeks they fly by far too quickly, before your know it your little one is 13 year old young lady as tall you!! Congratulations xx
Adriana
15. May, 2010
3:26 pm
Felicidades por el inicio de una bella historia. a warm welcome to Alice to this beautiful world.
best wishes from Mexico
Kathy
15. May, 2010
2:11 pm
What a wonderful story. Welcome to the world, baby Alice! And prepare yourself. Parenthood is the most awesome, amazing, scary, happy, thing that will ever happen to you. Cherish each moment, they grow up so fast. It won’t seem possible. If you think the way this turned out was unexpected wait untill you see the rest of the story!! Congratulations to you and Dave.
-from a silent follower –
Kathy
embellished
15. May, 2010
1:48 pm
What a lovely, positive story, and so well told! Congratulations to you and Dave!
Trudi
15. May, 2010
1:45 pm
Good for you! My mom mocked me for getting an epidural. I had planned to have a natural birth but DD was almost 7 weeks early so they wouldn’t let me out of the bed since they were worried about her. So, I caved on the epidural and later pointed out that my mom had DEMEROL when she gave birth to me. That is way worse than an epidural.
You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do and hey, now Alice is here and that is all that matters!
Kasey
15. May, 2010
1:39 pm
You are a rock star! I’m glad you haven’t felt disappointed – you shouldn’t. You did everything you could to give Alice the best birth possible. Enjoy your sweet baby!
audrey
15. May, 2010
1:20 pm
Awwww! Your story is beautiful! Alice is gorgeous, congrats on your new little family
Katie
15. May, 2010
1:01 pm
Congratulations, and thank you so much for sharing your birth story. Alice is beautiful!
Anne
15. May, 2010
12:24 pm
Wow – I am so amazed by your strength and determination. Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl – I can’t wait to see more pictures of her!
Sedaris
15. May, 2010
12:23 pm
Congratulations! What a beautiful story, to tell the beginning of how you became a beautiful family. Enjoy every moment.
Karen
15. May, 2010
12:01 pm
I had my children with and without an epidural. My ob asked me if I would have an operation without pain meds. I believe I had an easier delivery with my epidural child because I was able to focus and I was not exhausted. A birth plan and a completely natural delivery are beautiful things, but you can’t always get what you want. If you try sometimes, you get what you need.
Babies are gifts, however they arrive. I remember the fear when my first daughter was born-the realization that my love for this little girl ran so deep that I could never recover if something were to happen to her. Welcome to mommyhood.
mrs shortcake
15. May, 2010
11:42 am
Congratulations, sweetie. I’m so proud of you, and so happy that baby Alice is here, healthy and well!
Rialeigh
15. May, 2010
11:40 am
I am so glad everything went fine for you! I was also a Bradley mom and my fist went as planned but I ended up with an epidural for my second and I don’t regret it now either! You rock girlie! Have fun cuddling with the bambino!
Karen
15. May, 2010
11:23 am
What a touching story, Megs! Brought tears to my eyes. I’m so happy for you and Dave.
Jess
15. May, 2010
11:21 am
Beautiful ending!
jennifer J
15. May, 2010
11:16 am
What a wonderful little family you three make! Your warmth and happiness is so apparent as you write, and I am so happy for you and Dave! Thank you for sharing your story.
Jen B
15. May, 2010
10:19 am
I think you are an amazing person and I admire your strength and determination! I cried reading this…what a beautiful story.
Brittan
15. May, 2010
10:10 am
I’m so teary eyed reading that. I got an epidural for the same reason. The exhaustion made me unable to mentally keep up with my body. As soon as I got it I slept a full 8 hours, woke up, pushed twice and out came my little boy. Thank you so much for sharing that. So beautiful. You’re so strong and this made me want to hug Dave. What a great dad. Alice is absolutely beautiful. Congratulations!
creole wisdom
15. May, 2010
9:02 am
So wonderful! Blessings to you and yours
I am so glad that you felt empowered, and validated!
Alison Kelly
15. May, 2010
7:39 am
Alice has the best damn family!! You and Dave rock my socks.
xoxo
Mary B.
15. May, 2010
6:54 am
I sit in the Moncton Airport, about to fly home for my wedding, and tears are streaming down my face because of this post. You are blessed with a beautiful family, and I am so happy for you.
Grace
15. May, 2010
6:38 am
Congratulations…Alice is beautiful
The Dreamstress
15. May, 2010
5:01 am
What a fantastic story. I’m really glad you are happy with what you did and chose.
Alice is beautiful – just like her mother.
Leigh
15. May, 2010
4:45 am
Such an amazing story from such an amazing woman. While I only know you through what read here I feel so much pride and love for you right now, congratulations xx
Lisa
15. May, 2010
3:39 am
Congratulations!!! She is absolutely beautiful!! 58 hours? Wow, you are amazing to have gone through that. I’ve had 3 girls, & none of my labours have gone the way Ive wanted them. Welcome to the wonderful world of parenthood, hours are looooong, pay is rubbish, but the job satisfaction more than makes up for it!! Take care of yourself.xxx
Martha
15. May, 2010
3:10 am
Reading your birth story while up with my little one. Giving birth is a miracle, isn’t it? You did a beautiful job bringing your sweet daughter into the world. Enjoy the cozy cocoon of the next few months, it can be so hard but so magnificent. Congrats.