When things go wrong: how to handle a wedding disaster. Alternate title: Amy and Stephanie’s flowers
Posted on 03. Jan, 2011 by Princess Lasertron in bouquets, business
In five years of owning, creating, living and breathing and personifying Princess Lasertron, I have learned many things the hard way. I learned that profits aren’t cash. I learned that someone is always listening–whether you’re online or in public. I learned that chain stitches take just as much time as straight stitches and look much more beautiful. I learned that I should closely guard my trade secrets because there is a whole industry of uncreative desperate people who are looking to copy and undersell any trend. I learned that I don’t have to be all things to my business–it’s best to hire some tasks out. I learned that it’s worth the extra effort to make something memorable.
Another thing I have learned is that mistakes happen. I can’t stand mistakes, I can’t tolerate them, but I believe that anyone who claims they don’t make mistakes is not cut out to own a business. The challenge is to be quick to recognize your mistakes, acknowledge them, and find creative ways to correct them.
Two years ago when I had my first dissatisfied customer–in England, even!–I re-created the entire order in her true vision and overnighted it to her for her wedding. Everyone told me that was “bad business.” That I couldn’t make money by losing money. And I struggled with the decision to make it right because technically I hadn’t really done anything “wrong.” I did my best and delivered on time, but because the flowers I made didn’t represent what she had really wanted, I decided it was more important to fix it. After she received the new flowers, she told me that it saved her wedding. It turned her whole negative attitude around and she was excited to walk down the aisle carrying a big, lush bouquet that completely represented the scenario she had been visualizing over and over again since she got engaged and placed her order with me. And in the long-term, it was much better for me to have one more happy customer in my ranks. Happy customers are vocal customers, talking about their experience on forums, other blogs, and through social media and spreading the news of their awesome experience with your business. That was worth it to me as well.
Last week I was faced with the biggest mistake of my career. I did my best work on two separate orders for Christmas weddings, shipped them with plenty of time for delivery, and they were lost or delayed by the USPS. That’s all. That’s what happened. Over 70 hours of painstaking custom work–for brides, no less–lost in the mail and never delivered. There were a thousand frustrating small details to color the story but what’s done is done and that’s all that can be said now. The right thing to do is refund their money for the flowers they never got to use and enjoy, and it hurts me a lot. It’s the first time I’ve ever had this happen, and what makes it most frustrating is that it was completely out of my hands. Once I send a package out the door, I can’t control it. I can insure it, I can get delivery confirmation, I can work to send it as early as possible with plenty of cushion for arrival, but it’s out of my hands and all I can do is say a Hail Mary and hope for the best.
Stephanie’s flowers combined my dyed-to-match felt and special fabric sent by Steph to match her bridesmaids’ dresses.
I am so sorry to Amy and Stephanie. I’m sorry that they had to scramble at the last minute to order something rushed from a commercial florist. I’m sorry that they were caused stress on my behalf on one of the most meaningful days of their lives. What happened to you two beautiful brides does not represent the typical experience of my customers and I wish I could make it right for you.
There is a lesson here and I hate that I had to learn it the hard way. I hate it. I am still sick about it. But the best thing to do is to talk about it transparently and show how mistakes and accidents can happen in any business, and show compassion for the customers who are hurt by the errors. I feel like in weddings particularly, mistakes happen all the time–it seems like everyone has a horror story about the delivery of the wrong cake, or forgetting their vows, or getting too drunk, or some kind of horrifying dress malfunction. We wedding vendors know that you work with us because we are experts, we know that you do your research and care about our reputations because you want to work with the best to avoid a disaster like that. And when you choose a wedding vendor who values your business, they will do everything they can to fix mistakes when they do happen. At the end of the day your goal is the marriage, not the wedding, and although the wedding is the time to show off and realize the vision you have been perfecting for years, the truth is that you win in the end just by having the marriage.
I wanted to share the pictures of the flowers in this post anyway because I am proud of them, and I know Amy and Stephanie really liked them–even though they didn’t get used.
xo
meg
31 Responses to “When things go wrong: how to handle a wedding disaster. Alternate title: Amy and Stephanie’s flowers”
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a year in review: 2011 ›› Princess Lasertron
31. Dec, 2011
6:11 pm
[...] of PL.com: How I Handled a Wedding Disaster ♥ Window Displays and Waxed Envelopes ♥ Questions From You ♥ Let’s Visit Alice in her [...]
Janice
14. Jan, 2011
2:09 am
Megan-
So much is out of our hands once we ship. I find the postal services are quite efficient, trackable and at a fraction of the cost of other carriers. I have only have 4-5 issues in a half dozen years. The packages all eventually showed up or got returned.
This year shipping was different. For the following “reasonable” reasons:
(1) Overseas–As mentioned by Amy the snow that paralyzed the UK (and Heathrow in particular)–and our shipments arrive on planes just like people. If the people aren’t allowed to fly, the packages aren’t either.
(2) Security measures implemented in regards to packages and random inspections in November ,for incoming mail as well slowed things down tremendously. This is a direct result of the suspicious packages that were discovered in the late fall and why these measures were implemented.
Given the increased mail volumes during the holidays coupled with the above measures = S-L-O-W-E-R than-usual-mail-delivery.
(3) Snow. In general. Paralyzing snow.
I still have customers waiting for packages, they were still trickling in to them as of Tuesday (!)–this is from being shipped in December.
I ship to the US every day and these are things that were hampering delivery. The Post Office told me about the security measures and even here in Canada delivery within the country has been extremely slow.
The Post Office obviously can’t control the above issues as the inspections are via Government Customs and other hindrances were provided by mother nature….
I always hope common sense and patience will prevail.
It is incredibly difficult when a wedding is involved as I have also had this happen–this is how we learn, but it doesn’t erase the “sick in your gut” feeling that I do experience when a customer is disappointed.
Small business have a more “human face” to them and I think there is more of an emotional exchange between business and customer. We are much more invested in our customers than they may realize or may be obvious to them.
Princess Lasertron
14. Jan, 2011
2:35 am
Janice: Seeing your name in my reply box was such a huge relief. You always know what to say.
xo
Candace
12. Jan, 2011
6:52 am
These are gorgeous flowers! I just wanted to stop in and tell you how talented you are! Thank you for sharing your beautiful work!
Biscuit
11. Jan, 2011
8:19 am
Thank you so much for sharing this. I just started my own little hustle on Etsy, and one of my biggest concerns is mistakes and then it all going wrong in shipping anyway. So far, so good, but this stuff does happen, and you CAN rebound.
The flowers are gorgeous, by the way. I hope they eventually got them for keepsakes.
creole wisdom
09. Jan, 2011
9:55 pm
You have so much grace. I love the way you wrote this. Lovely and very honest.
lisa
05. Jan, 2011
6:31 pm
Beautiful flowers! It does seem like UPS is and Fed Ex are usually at least able to find their lost packages. I threw a big stink over UPS not delivering my dad’s father’s day present a few years ago (he lived in a new neighborhood, but still…) They apologized a lot and managed to get the box delivered on or close to the day (which woundn’t help much with a wedding, I know).
Amy
05. Jan, 2011
3:03 pm
Another great post
)
)
Just for the record I live in England and lots of people I know didn’t get their gifts/packages in time for Christmas. The snow we’ve had since mid December pretty much ground the country to a halt. I’m still getting Christmas cards and presents I ordered for people early Dec in the post today.. So in conclusion (sorry for going on) I think it was probably out of your hands. I’m sure the brides think your amazing as we all do so should totally get it’s not your fault.
Hope you have a fabulous 2011 and I’m looking forward to reading your posts for like the third year
xox
meg duerksen
04. Jan, 2011
9:31 pm
so pretty.
really beautiful flowers.
how sad to have to deal with those problems! it had to be awful!
MR
04. Jan, 2011
2:59 pm
Megan, have you tried USPS priority mail? I don’t know if it goes overseas, but it’s great for here in the U.S. I sent packages on a Monday, and they were delivered 1,700 miles away only THREE days later! I think priority is a flat rate too, which helps cut down the cost of shipping. I get the boxes delivered to my home address for free.
MR
04. Jan, 2011
3:01 pm
Oops–sorry about that comment! I was going to email this suggestion to you, and your address pasted in the “email” field of the comment box! Don’t worry, I’m not trying to steal your identity
Jessica_Iowa
04. Jan, 2011
1:39 pm
I’m very sorry this happened to you. But you’ve written about it honestly and it shows how much good customer service matters to you. And that is a very good thing!
Julie Lyons
04. Jan, 2011
7:47 am
How frustrating for everyone! I think it speaks of your character how much you feel you’ve let these women down, and honestly, if it were me, genuine feelings such as yours would really ease the sting.
Very very lovely work and again, I’m so sorry that your work didn’t get to get used by these clients!
Peggy
04. Jan, 2011
12:05 am
I’m so sorry. That has got to be the worst feeling ever. The flowers were beautiful; it’s sad USPS didn’t deliver.
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03. Jan, 2011
8:39 pm
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KatyKey
03. Jan, 2011
6:00 pm
I think your best posts are when you are truly honest and I appreciate it so much. Thanks for sharing your setbacks. It makes reading about your successes that much more enjoyable. In other news, USPS jacked up (just completely lost) one of my Christmas presents from a well-known jewelry designer and when I called her to explain that the necklace never arrived, she said she looses about 8 orders every holiday season. I think they were just really overwhelmed this year (it still is the most budget friendly way to ship in these tough economic times,) but I am sorry it happened to you and for those brides.
Lizzie
03. Jan, 2011
5:13 pm
My heart really goes out to you. I make 50s wedding dresses and know the pressure to make every dress perfect for the bride. You can pour your heart and soul into every custom order, and then put all your trust in the postal service. I live in the UK and post dresses out all over the world. My biggest issues with dresses to date have been with unexpected customs charges.
You did absolutely the right thing. Thank you for sharing the pictures of your beautiful work, i hope that Amy and Stephanie can appreciate how hard you worked.
Lauren
03. Jan, 2011
3:31 pm
That kind of made me tear up a little.
How awful to loose all your hard & beautiful work and have to go through all of that anxiety.
I think the hardest part of running your own business is being the person in charge. Sure that’s nice is so many ways but when things go wrong, suddenly one wishes that there was someone else to turn to. The whole thing, even little things can start to feel all consuming and the anxiety of it can take over your life for awhile.
Still you totally handled it the right way, and thanks for writing about it. We’ve all been there.
Sandy Ervin
03. Jan, 2011
2:51 pm
A similar thing happened to me recently and it truly broke my heart. I create paper flower bouquets for “offbeat” brides and I have the same issues as you – once the package leaves my hands, it’s up to the USPS, etc. to make sure it gets there safely. For one of my brides, her shipment of 80 Oriental poppies showed up with about 40 of them squished beyond repair.
I panicked when I heard the news, but I was really proud of my initial reaction… Immediately, I knew I had to remake and ship the flowers because that’s what’s important to me. Yes, there’s too much expectation of “perfection” on wedding days, but it’s my personal goal to make sure each of my customers gets exactly what they were expecting whether it was my error or not.
It was really cool to find out that, in a crisis, I practice what I preach and that my heart is in my business for the right reasons!
Jessica_Iowa
04. Jan, 2011
12:28 pm
I was just going to mention how well you handled my hair flower getting crunched!
And how by replacing the orchid you’ll continue to get great reviews from me where ever I can fit them into the conversation.
Quintessential
03. Jan, 2011
2:48 pm
Ugh. I’ve been there and that feeling, that sick with worry feeling, it is horrible and so hard to deal with even though you know you can’t really fix it you can’t stop trying.
Thank you for writing such an eloquent post, I’ve often wondered if I wrote about mistakes if my posts would be seen as superficial or as something that I wrote to make myself feel better. Your post really brings to light the angst that wedding vendors feel when things don’t go just right and how emotional it can be on the other side as well.
In the end, each of us are vendors because we really want to impact the biggest day of a bride’s life and we want it to be perfect. Never ever do we want things to go wrong.
Amie
03. Jan, 2011
2:34 pm
I had an awful time with online/mail ordering things this holiday. I ordered 4 different things, from 4 different companies, and only ONE of them was delivered on time. FedEx flat-out lied about stopping by to deliver (we were home and none of our 3 dogs raised any ‘door knock alarm’), the USPS took over 2 weeks to deliver a package to Texas from Oregon, and it took nearly 3 weeks to get one (again through the USPS) from about 75 miles away. Usually I don’t have any problem, but this year the whole online ordering/delivery scheme was a huge disappointment and I’ll have to reconsider my ‘Cyber Monday’ purchases next year.
Jennifer
03. Jan, 2011
2:27 pm
Recommended solution = UPS or FedEx. Much more reliable & customers can track the package. Sorry to hear that this happened.
Princess Lasertron
03. Jan, 2011
8:46 pm
thanks jennifer. a lot of people have mentioned that i should go through ups or fedex from now on, but I have NEVER EVER EVER had a good experience working with them EVER. Every time I think i want to give them another try, they royally mess it up. Customers can track with USPS too and I have tracking and insurance on every order.
USPS has messed up 2 orders in 5 years–that’s a good track record, although still frustrating for those two times! everyone’s experiences are so different with every carrier though, it makes no sense!
Jhrme
03. Jan, 2011
12:24 pm
I do hope they show up! So beautiful! I most dislike the part where it’s out of you hands. It’s hardest for me to hand my special packaged projects of to that person who doesn’t care how many hours are in the box, and drops it in the bin with all the other packages. Is there a recommended solution to this?
joanna
03. Jan, 2011
10:25 am
i’m so sorry. i had a lost order over the thanksgiving holiday, but the value was probably 1/8 of your order, so i don’t pretend to understand! it’s time for the USPS to be privatized, i think!
Gorgeouskid!
03. Jan, 2011
10:08 am
Meg- bad business be damned- you did the right thing. Weddings are different animals altogether.
I had a bad experience with my wedding dress. I went to a very exclusive Beverly Hills wedding salon for my dress, paying for and hoping for lovely service and a lovely dress. The proprietress measured me and I knew at that point something was wrong. I was a big girl, but she measured me at a size 24. When I mentioned that the measurements seemed off, and that I was a 16 on a fat day, she snapped at me and said she’d been doing it for years and who was I to question her 25 years of experience and whatever….
Of course when the big day arrived, dress pickup- the dress was ENORMOUS and when I mentioned that I had called her on the incorrect measurements, she snapped at me again and said why hadn’t I made sure she was more accurate. I mean, there was virtually no way to make that dress fit me. Then she expected me to pay over $500 in alterations.
One of the biggest rubs was that another bride, gorgeous and a total sylph walked out of the fitting room with her perfectly fitted gown. She took one look at me, red eyed and obviously in distress, with the neckline of the gown sagging and the whole thing just looking wrong, and just shook her head.
It did ruin my wedding. Not the WEDDING, but the vision of the wedding I’d had in my head my whole life. Every time I think of it, the horrible dress comes to mind. Every picture I see, I remember that dress pick-up afternoon of shame- of being made to feel so fat and ugly. They did NOTHING to help me or soothe my obviously devastated feelings. The owner of the salon, the woman with her name on the marquee had the gall to tell me, “Well, we order big girls’ dresses larger on purpose because they ALWAYS gain weight before the big day.” This was after she said she’d ordered exactly to my measurements.
If there had been one iota of apology or remorse, I think it would have been fine for me- not my perfect dress, but I wouldn’t think back on that afternoon, well, at all. It wouldn’t even register. It would have been a part of a fabulous day rather than standing out as the one awful thing that happened to me. But she was mean to me and did nothing to make things right, or even better.
I was so angry and sad. I was fortunate that I had a talented seamstress friend who was able to salvage the dress and put something together that was fine- not my beautiful vision, but that was nice.
So, that was a long-winded way to tell you that it was indeed good business to make your English customer’s order right, despite the cost to you. I’ll never recommend RENEE STRAUSS FOR THE BRIDE in Beverly Hills to anyone and will be happy to tell them my sad tale of woe.
(…still happily married 10 years later, even though I had a merely adequate wedding dress…)
Lindsey
03. Jan, 2011
8:53 am
You said it yourself – you did everything you could do. I know it’s easier said than done, but you weren’t at fault.
Meanwhile, I wonder where your beautiful flowers went? Maybe they’ll be returned one day…
Jen B
03. Jan, 2011
8:12 am
I know if you could hand deliver every order you would! I still think you are a fantastic vendor and this work is beautiful.
Khara Plicanic
03. Jan, 2011
7:37 am
Great post about the passion and heart wedding professionals (and many small business owners) put into their businesses. Wishing you a happy 2011!
Sarah Rooftops
03. Jan, 2011
7:03 am
Ah, what a shame, but you wrote about it beautifully and honestly.