Endings and Beginnings. Loss and Hope.

Big changes are coming for me.

Since I started keeping a blog I’ve benefited from offering a window into my personal life, sharing my challenges, accomplishments, milestones, and fears. The wide community of support and friendship I’ve discovered online has helped me process, cope, celebrate, mourn, and learn as I’ve grown and collected my experiences. So right now I need to reach out to you all, share some news, and ask for support for myself and for my family.

My husband David and I invested these last eight years together and created a life with one another, and those years were well-spent. The growth and love we nurtured in each other made us who we are today in this moment. I truly married my best friend and we will always love each other and be one of the most important people in our lives. Dave and I look back on our time walking in life together with gratitude, and now we are looking forward to a future on separate paths.

Though we came to the decision to divorce amicably, it is still heartbreaking. I’m mourning the loss of a future we had planned for, and that’s the hardest thing to let go of. But there is no love lost, and there are no sides to take. No one has been wronged. We will always be co-parents to our daughter and we both have her happiness and best interest in the forefront of our minds.

I’m accepting that my life isn’t going according to plan, and something else that is beautiful, special, and meant for me lies ahead of me. I’m embarking on a genuine, real adventure to discover it. It’s a beginning as well as an end.

I am not taking any steps backward. Princess Lasertron will continue and I look forward to creating more bouquets and flowers for weddings this year. I’m also very grateful for the honor of finishing my first craft book this month for release next year and contributing to several projects with some of my most admired industry colleagues and authors. My e-commerce startup Hello Holiday is growing steadily and I believe more than ever in its potential and value for women and emerging designers. I’m proud to be involved in many community organizations including Safe Space Omaha and the Nebraska AIDS Project, and I’m drawing huge fulfillment and pleasure from my pursuits in civic activism and feminist writing. I’m looking for an apartment and creating a space for myself. And of course I’m building this new life for Alice, one where she will be nurtured, safe, and loved as much as ever.

It is sad. It is exciting. It is scary. I am very worried. But I am an extraordinarily lucky person and I have hope. I expect good things because I am open to giving up control over this transition and accepting that reality isn’t always something I can plan. I trust that I am where I should be, even when it hurts.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for reading as always. Thank you.

xx
meg

Comment View All

What would you do with a billion dollars?

Lately Sarah and I were talking about how much a million is, how much a billion is. The most striking thing I read recently that put it into perspective was that a million seconds is about a week and a half, but a billion seconds is nearly 32 years. Sarah asked me, what would I…

2014, in list form.

Wise people always say not to focus on the negative. It turns out that that's good advice, because there's a lot of positive out there. I was in a depressy mood last week depressing to my friend/advisor/midnight oil hero Jason about something I typically depress about, and when we started talking about what was good this year instead of bad, it felt like a much more successful year. Wildly so. Adventurous. Daring. Extraordinary. Fortuitous. And not nearly all work-related. My intention for 2015 is "less surviving, more living," but I sure did squeeze a lot of life out of the past year or so. 2014 is going down in history. Why not make a list? Here's mine.

Know that the next year will surpass all others.

"Oh passion-filled days, all steadfast and young, know that the next year will surpass all others, because it is new, and because it will be filled with moments that will remain unspoken of harsh and light, right along with your steady heart.
When we allow ourselves the sweetness of now, we may have all of the adventures that life has to offer in the coming year—if we are so fortunate as to have one."

Alice Elfie’s Day Off

Alice and I stayed home today so we could start making presents for our family. It's hard to find much time to be together and do any of that between getting off work and bedtime, so we both took a day off! We listened to the Mariah Carey holiday Pandora station all day and had personal pan pizzas delivered for lunch, and ate all the cookies we wanted from a cookie exchange we went to last weekend. Here's what we made, including links!

OOTD: Clothes to covet

Today Alice and I are staying home to work on all of our Christmas gifts together! With my new work schedule, there isn't a lot of time between work and bed to finish any meaningful projects together, so we both took the day off to make and wrap all of our gifts. One thing on my gift list is this outfit. If we don't sell out of my size before the holidays, I'll definitely be buying it from the store. Usually I just buy whatever I want as things come in or order extra for myself, but during the holidays I want to give all of our extra inventory a chance to sell at full price before I snatch it up.
View All