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photos from dave

Posted on 23. May, 2012 by Princess Lasertron.

on a lunch date at block 16, my favorite restaurant in omaha.
I always get chicken and fries (I’m simple), and they have tons of vegan options for dave, as well as amazing gyros, phillies, burgers, and specials to please any foodie.
and I love that I always run into a friend or two.

xo
meg

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time flies by.

Posted on 25. Apr, 2012 by Princess Lasertron.

Five years ago I asked my best friend to marry me.

Love you, Dave.
xox

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radvent day 22: promises – one year and seven months with alice

Posted on 22. Dec, 2011 by Princess Lasertron.

Promises kept are one of the truest expressions of love because keeping a promise is a responsibility. It takes unfailing devotion and commitment. “I love you” is a promise. “I won’t give up” is a promise. And anything you say to yourself–”You can finish this,” “You can do better,” “You are enough,” “You are a beautiful, radiant beacon of positivity and magic”–can become a promise, too. Do you believe your promises to yourself? What about the promises you have made to others? What can you do to revisit those promises and reinforce your commitments? Show a friend or a loved one–your lover, your parent, yourself–that you are thinking of them throughout the day. That you remember what you promised.

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Every month, I write a letter to Alice about what she did that month, how she has changed, and the wishes and hopes I have for her as she continues to grow and learn. It’s sort of a promise to her, to document her childhood and my own life as a mother, to honor these memories and try to use my words rather than just photos or video to remember this time. Each post feels like a big deal, and no words ever seem right to tell her how proud I am of her and how much I wish for her and how much beauty and adventure the world has promised to her. But once in a while when I read through my past letters, I feel like I said the right thing, and when I compile them all someday in a book for us to read from the beginning, it will be such a treasure to have these words preserved.

This month, I asked Dave to join me in writing a letter to put into Alice’s book. It’s not only a gift to her, it’s an important way to preserve our thoughts in the present–to remember what we did in 2011, what bothered us, what our relationship was like. Although it can be mentally challenging, journaling and letter-writing is something no one ever lived to regret.

So with a little guidance (“What do you want me to say?” “Anything.”) and prodding, Dave added his own letter to our collection. His comes first, then mine. Happy month nineteen, Alice.

Alice:

Nineteen months ago when you were born I made a promise to your mother. I promised that while you were young I would write you letters so that you would have some record of how our life together was before you could remember. Well here you are at 19 months old and this is one such letter.

Yesterday I tried feeding you something wonderful I made. You were not amused. It seems like nowadays you only like to eat things you can feed yourself, things like fruits or beans or chunks of tofu. This does not include the rice and lentil pilaf that I had made just a few minutes earlier. Try as you did, I am just too mean of a dad to let you dig your hands into the food and haphazardly guide the fistful of pilaf into your mouth. You cried. I cried. We both cried together (I was louder).

After the dust settled I had an idea. I promised you that if you let me fork-feed you my succulent rice dish, then I’d let you stay up a little bit later and hang out. You don’t speak much but I could tell you understood what I was saying as your eyes lit up and you squealed “ooooooh!” which is usually reserved for when you see yourself putting on awesome fashion sunglasses, or when I come home from work and you see me for the first time since the morning. “Oooooooh!” you said and we shook on it and we had a deal.

There you ate all your delicious food. Forkful by forkful you chewed and swallowed, making me a happy dad for cooking a meal that my daughter seemed to love.

An hour or so later your normal bedtime approached. I remembered the promise I had made, but I don’t think you did since you fell straight asleep in my lap in what looked to be the most uncomfortable position imaginable. One arm was under your body, the other was behind your back. Your mouth was agape and drool was flowing steadily out. Your face was mashed against two of the buttons of my shirt, no doubt leaving a buttony imprint on your precious little cheeks.

You didn’t get to stay up late that night. Going to sleep on time was your idea, not mine. That doesn’t mean I won’t remember my promise to you. One day when you least expect it I’m going to hold my end of the bargain. One day when the day is winding down and the sun is setting behind the trees, I’m going to grab you out of bed and we’re going to do father daughter time extra long that night. I promise.

Love
Dad

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Dear Alice:

Today you are nineteen months old, and it’s getting to the point where saying the months isn’t really meaningful in terms of development–you’re one and a half, you’re a toddler, you’re becoming more and more independent and self-sufficient every day. I have a big framed picture of you at about four months old in our living room. Sometimes when I think about the way you look and visualize you in my mind, I picture that tiny baby, with no hair, no teeth, big wide blue eyes, button nose. But you just keep GROWING and you are getting so BIG and you are a TODDLER now. Do I say this every month? How astonished I am by how fast you grow? One day this month, I put your shoes on your feet just like I do every morning and they didn’t fit. You wore your snow boots instead every day for over a week until some new ones from Pediped arrived that Grandma bought you.

Your other cool grandparents who live in Palm Springs are here this week visiting for Christmas. They don’t get to spend a lot of time with you so it’s been a bit of a reintroduction in the last few days. We show you pictures of them and talk about them a lot. I’m excited for you to get to know them better.

My mom, your other grandma, usually takes you all day once a week and this week she is too busy, so it’s just you and me all day. We’ve been actually spending a lot more time alone together this month. One of our babysitters has been unavailable, and grandma has been busier, I’ve accepted that I’m a parent now, and you are super fun and cool to hang out with. Easier to communicate with, calmer, just growing up. I like you a lot right now. You are fun to talk to, just cool to hang out with. I appreciate your company and our time alone.

You’re really great at my office–you’re polite, calm enough, and you know your way around everything. Some of your favorite things to do at work include running in the hall (which is GREAT), playing with pop beads, sweeping with a crumb sweeper, drawing on your easel or on a roll of paper, sitting on my desk typing in notepad, watching shows, and arranging. Arranging soda cans, arranging fabric, arranging pens across the floor in a straight line, arranging your baby zoo animals in rows. I think you have a very orderly mind.

What else is new?

You get into bed when you want to go to sleep.
With a little stool you can reach the sink and wash your hands.
In stores, you love trying things on in the mirror. Sunglasses, hats, necklaces, scarves, shoes, all modeled and scrutinized from every angle. I don’t think you have seen me do that but I’m sure you have.
You can say “banana,” “mama,” “dad,” and “grandpa.” (naaaa-na, mama, dah, ba-paw.)You can put your coat on.You can fasten the snaps on your coat.
Turbo, our cat, is becoming more and more fond of you. You love to hug him and he often sleeps on your bed.
You are great at putting stuff away–your boots by the door, your books on the shelf, your clothes in the correct drawers. We didn’t teach you this stuff, you just learned it though observation.
Yo Gabba Gabba! is the TV show you are just obsessed with. We watch about an hour a day, usually in the morning while I steal a bit more sleep.
You wait to hold my hand in the parking lot when we get out of the car.

I’ve also started a time out for you this month. I don’t call it time out. It’s not really a punishment. It’s just that sometimes the world gets overwhelming and life gets frustrating and we have trouble using our words and it’s very important to just take a calming break. It starts with “Alice, look at me.” You meet my eyes. “Let’s sit down and take a break.” At work, you sit in a special seat next to my desk and fold your hands in your lap. At home, you sit in a green plush rocking chair. You are pretty quick to relax. I hope that is a personality trait that you can take with you into your childhood through your whole life, because keeping your wits about you will really serve you well.

Babyhood is so short and so full of magic. Rocking you in my great-grandmother’s chair in front of the Christmas tree at night makes me so delirious with love that I can’t believe this is realy my life. I think I grew up expecting to become a mother, but I feel so lucky, like it was so unlikely that I’d be chosen by a baby with such a sweet, kind soul. So loving and communicative. So generous with affection and funny and happy. I am so proud of you and I can’t wait to see you tomorrow morning, and every morning.

xo
mama

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Are you writing your own radvent responses in your journal or blog? Feel free to share the link–they are awesome sources of inspiration for everyone!

xo
meg

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Questions from you no. 29: Mr. Lasertron Edition

Posted on 06. Jul, 2011 by Princess Lasertron.

My husband, Dave, has been receiving questions via Formspring, e-mail, and Twitter, and we decided to condense them all into one post.

Photo by Daniel Muller for Esoteric Velvet

1. My husband says he supports my desire to start a business, but he’s so reluctant to volunteer help with the housework and kids because he says they’re “women’s work”! How did you and Megan figure out what balance works for you? Did you have to change any perceptions of “men’s” and “women’s” roles to get where you are now? Any advice for talking with my husband about this? (From A Desperate Momma)

Me and Megan both agreed on this one, but for us we felt there really are no jobs that are for “women” or “men”. We both grew up questioning many of the values that our culture, for one reason or another, has always espoused. For us, it really didn’t make sense to play along with traditional gender roles with Megan’s busy schedule. She has to invest so much time into her business(es) that it wouldn’t be practical for me to expect her to do many of the things that have been traditionally defined as “women’s work”. If I want laundry done I do it. If Megan wants the kitchen cleans she cleans it. If I want my daughter to grow up healthy and strong I cook and feed her when she’s hungry. Traditional gender roles just aren’t practical for our family.

I don’t really have any advice for how to deal with this with your husband, as everyone’s family is different. This might just be something that he has to come to for himself, but maybe you could ask him exactly what makes it woman’s work? If he has trouble explaining then maybe you should try to explain to him that for your business to be successful traditional gender roles are going to have to take a back seat.

2. My question for Mr. Lasertron is the same one you asked in your post about your recent date night. What made him change his mind and go out to breakfast with you that night? (From Sarah)

In all honesty I’m not really sure why I changed my mind. Megan and I had argued with each other online, on a local message board, before meeting in person and as I was walking home I thought to myself “Maybe hanging out with these guys would be fun?” and the rest is history.

3. How tall are you and your wife? (From Meredith)

I’m 1.98m and Megan is about 1.5m I think. In english units that’s 6’6″ for me and about 5’0″ for Megan. I think.

4. In your opinion, what are the top five baby essentials that I should get for my friend who is a new dad? (From Nicole)

What a great question! It seems nowadays more and more dads are taking majorly active roles in their child’s development. Here are a few things that have helped me over the past 14 months. How does 4 instead of 5 sound?

Puj Tub at pujbaby.com. This is perfect for bathing your kid hands-free in the sink until they can sit up in the big tub.
OXO candela rechargeable lights. These are great for stumbling around in the dark every night.
xbox 360 with a netflix subscription to watch stuff while your newborn sleeps in your lap and if you move your kid will wake up and start crying. For me that was pretty much the first 8 months. I watched EVERYTHING on netflix, most of it terrible.
LOTS of plain white washrags. We use about 5-10 daily because kids don’t know how to properly eat.

I will say that he doesn’t really need a diaper bag because you can put diaper stuff in anything. A messenger bag, a backpack, even a reusable nylon grocery sack. We have a Shinzi Katoh tote.

5. My husband needs some style help–how can I get my man to dress a little better? Where do you like to shop? What is your favorite outfit? (From Jackie)

My favorite place to shop is probably Macy’s when we’re on vacation in Chicago. Macy’s is on the pricey side of things but in my experience they have always been stocked with more than enough sale racks to allow me to get TONS of really nice and classy stuff on the cheap. If you’re not sure where to start get some real nice jeans, like Diesel or Seven for All Mankind. Yes they are more expensive than jeans you can get at target, but they fit so much better, look nicer, and last about 10 times longer. I have several pairs of jeans from around 2002 that I still wear today because they last so long. Because of that, you really end up saving money in the long run so there’s really no reason not to get nice high-quality jeans that fit well and look nice. I love Ben Sherman, Kenneth Cole, Perry Ellis, D&G, and I get most of my lazy clothes from Express.

6. Has it been hard supporting your wife in her business over the last five years? I imagine you have had to sacrifice somethings? (From Calliez)

Yes it has absolutely been hard. We’ve both sacrificed so much, mostly our free time. Giving up free time was hard for me because I was a HUGE slacker before I met megan and before we got married.

7. How has your relationship changed in the past year adding Alice to your family? From Katie L)

I suspect our relationship changes have probably been pretty typical of all married couples with newborns. We have a lot less husband/wife time now with alice, which turns out is pretty important. We have usually a single date night every week that we have to force ourselves to use for actual dates despite our reluctance to do so. Sometimes Megan will be so busy or I will be so exhausted that we want to spend our date nights just doing extra work, or taking naps. It has also changed for the better in some ways as well. I appreciate Megan much more now that she helps raise my beautiful daughter. Going through 60 hours of labor together, accomplishing something so great together, changed our relationship forever. We didn’t know we had that strength in us.

8. What do you do when Megan is at work? (From Peter)

If I’m watching Alice I’ll usually take her on a walk, watch TV with her, or play with her with her toys or books. Today we went to the elementary school down the street and played some basketball. If I’m not watching Alice and Megan is at work I’m either at work, napping, making food for myself/Alice (Megan doesn’t eat what I cook usually), or playing xbox.

9. Have you always been stylish?

Absolutely not. Once I grew up in my late 20s I finally got some sense of fashion and ditched the skater shoes and spiky punkrock hair.

10. Where does Mr. Lasertron get inspiration from?

I’m not really one that receives inspiration. My brain is mostly analytical, but when I do get that creative bug it usually comes from any sort of video game, scifi/fantasy movie/book, or roleplaying game I’ve done in the past. Most of that nerd energy gets channeled into some sort of obscure joke on twitter that pretty much nobody thinks is funny except me.

11. If Mr. Lasertron ruled a country he would… (From Emma)

I would probably dump an insane amount of money into fancy alternative energy sources that provide both excellent energy for my citizens and also help to fixate atmospheric carbon.

12. If you could choose an outfit for Princess Lasertron and Babytron, what would you choose?

Megan and Alice would both have to wear an outfit that’s kind of an old tymee swimsuit from the 30s with a parasol. They would be the awesomest mother/daughter combo ever.

13. What is your favorite dinner to cook?

Chana Masala is the best food on the planet.

14. What is your favorite 80′s movie?

Probably Aliens. Robocop is also amazingly good.

15. Lemonade or Iced Tea?

I like iced tea. I’m not really into sugary drinks like lemonade.

16. I would love to see one of Dave’s recipes that he likes to share with Alice. I think Vegan cooking is so interesting. Is it hard to be vegan? (From Amanda)

Alice doesn’t have molars yet so I have to usually whip something together off the top of my head that I know will be mushy enough for her to eat by gumming it. My big thing lately has been quinoa and red lentil pilaf (I guess you can call it pilaf). I choose red lentils because they are smaller and turn into mush a lot easier when boiling than other larger lentils. Quinoa is great because it’s a smaller grain that also dissociates into mush and has a great nutritional profile. I also throw some frozen veggies in the mix that I know will again, turn to mush, like cauliflower, broccoli, or spinach/greens. I also love throwing some Indian spices in because Indian is the best food ever. I don’t really have a recipe but I’ll give you enough to wing it if you want to make it:

1/4th cup red lentils
1/4th cup cleaned quinoa
1 tbspn olive oil (more for flavor than for actual cooking)
1/2 cup some kind of mushy vegetables
1/4th tspn curry powder (no salt. babies don’t really need salty stuff)
1/4th tspn cumin seed, ground or whole
1/4th tspn ground coriander seed.
Lots of water (start with a cup, but more will probably be added throughout the cooking)

Throw the lentils, quinoa and water into a small saucepan and set for low or medium low heat. Add a little bit of salt just to make the water boil at a higher temperature but not really enough to taste. Bring to boil then set for low head and cover and let simmer. Add vegetables and spices. Stir occasionally and keep an eye on how much water has boiled off. The trick is to keep checking the consistency vs the amount of water left. You want it to turn into mush obviously so the kid can eat it. You typically have to simmer for about 40 minutes. If you’re running low on water but the concoction isn’t mush yet then simply add some more water. Once it’s mush continue to boil until you get a slightly watery applesauce consistency. Let cool and let the kid eat away. This stuff also stays good in the fridge for about a week. I like eating it too so I usually make a lot.