Promises kept are one of the truest expressions of love because keeping a promise is a responsibility. It takes unfailing devotion and commitment. “I love you” is a promise. “I won’t give up” is a promise. And anything you say to yourself–”You can finish this,” “You can do better,” “You are enough,” “You are a beautiful, radiant beacon of positivity and magic”–can become a promise, too. Do you believe your promises to yourself? What about the promises you have made to others? What can you do to revisit those promises and reinforce your commitments? Show a friend or a loved one–your lover, your parent, yourself–that you are thinking of them throughout the day. That you remember what you promised.

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Every month, I write a letter to Alice about what she did that month, how she has changed, and the wishes and hopes I have for her as she continues to grow and learn. It’s sort of a promise to her, to document her childhood and my own life as a mother, to honor these memories and try to use my words rather than just photos or video to remember this time. Each post feels like a big deal, and no words ever seem right to tell her how proud I am of her and how much I wish for her and how much beauty and adventure the world has promised to her. But once in a while when I read through my past letters, I feel like I said the right thing, and when I compile them all someday in a book for us to read from the beginning, it will be such a treasure to have these words preserved.

This month, I asked Dave to join me in writing a letter to put into Alice’s book. It’s not only a gift to her, it’s an important way to preserve our thoughts in the present–to remember what we did in 2011, what bothered us, what our relationship was like. Although it can be mentally challenging, journaling and letter-writing is something no one ever lived to regret.

So with a little guidance (“What do you want me to say?” “Anything.”) and prodding, Dave added his own letter to our collection. His comes first, then mine. Happy month nineteen, Alice.

Alice:

Nineteen months ago when you were born I made a promise to your mother. I promised that while you were young I would write you letters so that you would have some record of how our life together was before you could remember. Well here you are at 19 months old and this is one such letter.

Yesterday I tried feeding you something wonderful I made. You were not amused. It seems like nowadays you only like to eat things you can feed yourself, things like fruits or beans or chunks of tofu. This does not include the rice and lentil pilaf that I had made just a few minutes earlier. Try as you did, I am just too mean of a dad to let you dig your hands into the food and haphazardly guide the fistful of pilaf into your mouth. You cried. I cried. We both cried together (I was louder).

After the dust settled I had an idea. I promised you that if you let me fork-feed you my succulent rice dish, then I’d let you stay up a little bit later and hang out. You don’t speak much but I could tell you understood what I was saying as your eyes lit up and you squealed “ooooooh!” which is usually reserved for when you see yourself putting on awesome fashion sunglasses, or when I come home from work and you see me for the first time since the morning. “Oooooooh!” you said and we shook on it and we had a deal.

There you ate all your delicious food. Forkful by forkful you chewed and swallowed, making me a happy dad for cooking a meal that my daughter seemed to love.

An hour or so later your normal bedtime approached. I remembered the promise I had made, but I don’t think you did since you fell straight asleep in my lap in what looked to be the most uncomfortable position imaginable. One arm was under your body, the other was behind your back. Your mouth was agape and drool was flowing steadily out. Your face was mashed against two of the buttons of my shirt, no doubt leaving a buttony imprint on your precious little cheeks.

You didn’t get to stay up late that night. Going to sleep on time was your idea, not mine. That doesn’t mean I won’t remember my promise to you. One day when you least expect it I’m going to hold my end of the bargain. One day when the day is winding down and the sun is setting behind the trees, I’m going to grab you out of bed and we’re going to do father daughter time extra long that night. I promise.

Love
Dad

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Dear Alice:

Today you are nineteen months old, and it’s getting to the point where saying the months isn’t really meaningful in terms of development–you’re one and a half, you’re a toddler, you’re becoming more and more independent and self-sufficient every day. I have a big framed picture of you at about four months old in our living room. Sometimes when I think about the way you look and visualize you in my mind, I picture that tiny baby, with no hair, no teeth, big wide blue eyes, button nose. But you just keep GROWING and you are getting so BIG and you are a TODDLER now. Do I say this every month? How astonished I am by how fast you grow? One day this month, I put your shoes on your feet just like I do every morning and they didn’t fit. You wore your snow boots instead every day for over a week until some new ones from Pediped arrived that Grandma bought you.

Your other cool grandparents who live in Palm Springs are here this week visiting for Christmas. They don’t get to spend a lot of time with you so it’s been a bit of a reintroduction in the last few days. We show you pictures of them and talk about them a lot. I’m excited for you to get to know them better.

My mom, your other grandma, usually takes you all day once a week and this week she is too busy, so it’s just you and me all day. We’ve been actually spending a lot more time alone together this month. One of our babysitters has been unavailable, and grandma has been busier, I’ve accepted that I’m a parent now, and you are super fun and cool to hang out with. Easier to communicate with, calmer, just growing up. I like you a lot right now. You are fun to talk to, just cool to hang out with. I appreciate your company and our time alone.

You’re really great at my office–you’re polite, calm enough, and you know your way around everything. Some of your favorite things to do at work include running in the hall (which is GREAT), playing with pop beads, sweeping with a crumb sweeper, drawing on your easel or on a roll of paper, sitting on my desk typing in notepad, watching shows, and arranging. Arranging soda cans, arranging fabric, arranging pens across the floor in a straight line, arranging your baby zoo animals in rows. I think you have a very orderly mind.

What else is new?

• You get into bed when you want to go to sleep.
• With a little stool you can reach the sink and wash your hands.
• In stores, you love trying things on in the mirror. Sunglasses, hats, necklaces, scarves, shoes, all modeled and scrutinized from every angle. I don’t think you have seen me do that but I’m sure you have.
• You can say “banana,” “mama,” “dad,” and “grandpa.” (naaaa-na, mama, dah, ba-paw.)You can put your coat on.You can fasten the snaps on your coat.
• Turbo, our cat, is becoming more and more fond of you. You love to hug him and he often sleeps on your bed.
• You are great at putting stuff away–your boots by the door, your books on the shelf, your clothes in the correct drawers. We didn’t teach you this stuff, you just learned it though observation.
• Yo Gabba Gabba! is the TV show you are just obsessed with. We watch about an hour a day, usually in the morning while I steal a bit more sleep.
• You wait to hold my hand in the parking lot when we get out of the car.

I’ve also started a time out for you this month. I don’t call it time out. It’s not really a punishment. It’s just that sometimes the world gets overwhelming and life gets frustrating and we have trouble using our words and it’s very important to just take a calming break. It starts with “Alice, look at me.” You meet my eyes. “Let’s sit down and take a break.” At work, you sit in a special seat next to my desk and fold your hands in your lap. At home, you sit in a green plush rocking chair. You are pretty quick to relax. I hope that is a personality trait that you can take with you into your childhood through your whole life, because keeping your wits about you will really serve you well.

Babyhood is so short and so full of magic. Rocking you in my great-grandmother’s chair in front of the Christmas tree at night makes me so delirious with love that I can’t believe this is realy my life. I think I grew up expecting to become a mother, but I feel so lucky, like it was so unlikely that I’d be chosen by a baby with such a sweet, kind soul. So loving and communicative. So generous with affection and funny and happy. I am so proud of you and I can’t wait to see you tomorrow morning, and every morning.

xo
mama

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Are you writing your own radvent responses in your journal or blog? Feel free to share the link–they are awesome sources of inspiration for everyone!

xo
meg

Photo by Daniel Muller for Esoteric Velvet

1. My husband says he supports my desire to start a business, but he’s so reluctant to volunteer help with the housework and kids because he says they’re “women’s work”! How did you and Megan figure out what balance works for you? Did you have to change any perceptions of “men’s” and “women’s” roles to get where you are now? Any advice for talking with my husband about this? (From A Desperate Momma)

Me and Megan both agreed on this one, but for us we felt there really are no jobs that are for “women” or “men”. We both grew up questioning many of the values that our culture, for one reason or another, has always espoused. For us, it really didn’t make sense to play along with traditional gender roles with Megan’s busy schedule. She has to invest so much time into her business(es) that it wouldn’t be practical for me to expect her to do many of the things that have been traditionally defined as “women’s work”. If I want laundry done I do it. If Megan wants the kitchen cleans she cleans it. If I want my daughter to grow up healthy and strong I cook and feed her when she’s hungry. Traditional gender roles just aren’t practical for our family.

I don’t really have any advice for how to deal with this with your husband, as everyone’s family is different. This might just be something that he has to come to for himself, but maybe you could ask him exactly what makes it woman’s work? If he has trouble explaining then maybe you should try to explain to him that for your business to be successful traditional gender roles are going to have to take a back seat.

2. My question for Mr. Lasertron is the same one you asked in your post about your recent date night. What made him change his mind and go out to breakfast with you that night? (From Sarah)

In all honesty I’m not really sure why I changed my mind. Megan and I had argued with each other online, on a local message board, before meeting in person and as I was walking home I thought to myself “Maybe hanging out with these guys would be fun?” and the rest is history.

3. How tall are you and your wife? (From Meredith)

I’m 1.98m and Megan is about 1.5m I think. In english units that’s 6’6″ for me and about 5’0″ for Megan. I think.

4. In your opinion, what are the top five baby essentials that I should get for my friend who is a new dad? (From Nicole)

1. Puj Tub at pujbaby.com.  This is perfect for bathing your kid hands-free in the sink until they can sit up in the big tub.

2. OXO candela rechargeable lights.  These are great for stumbling around in the dark every night.

3. xbox 360 with a netflix subscription to watch stuff while your newborn sleeps in your lap and if you move your kid will wake up and start crying.  For me that was pretty much the first 8 months.  I watched EVERYTHING on netflix, most of it terrible.
4. LOTS of plain white washrags.  We use about 5-10 daily because kids don’t know how to properly eat.

I will say that he doesn’t really need a diaper bag because you can put diaper stuff in anything. A messenger bag, a backpack, even a reusable nylon grocery sack. We have a Shinzi Katoh tote.

5. My husband needs some style help–how can I get my man to dress a little better? Where do you like to shop? What is your favorite outfit? (From Jackie)

My favorite place to shop is probably Macy’s when we’re on vacation in Chicago. Macy’s is on the pricey side of things but in my experience they have always been stocked with more than enough sale racks to allow me to get TONS of really nice and classy stuff on the cheap. If you’re not sure where to start get some real nice jeans, like Diesel or Seven for All Mankind. Yes they are more expensive than jeans you can get at target, but they fit so much better, look nicer, and last about 10 times longer. I have several pairs of jeans from around 2002 that I still wear today because they last so long. Because of that, you really end up saving money in the long run so there’s really no reason not to get nice high-quality jeans that fit well and look nice. I love Ben Sherman, Kenneth Cole, Perry Ellis, D&G, and I get most of my lazy clothes from Express.

6. Has it been hard supporting your wife in her business over the last five years? I imagine you have had to sacrifice somethings? (From Calliez)

Yes it has absolutely been hard. We’ve both sacrificed so much, mostly our free time. Giving up free time was hard for me because I was a HUGE slacker before I met megan and before we got married.

7. How has your relationship changed in the past year adding Alice to your family? From Katie L)

I suspect our relationship changes have probably been pretty typical of all married couples with newborns. We have a lot less husband/wife time now with alice, which turns out is pretty important. We have usually a single date night every week that we have to force ourselves to use for actual dates despite our reluctance to do so. Sometimes Megan will be so busy or I will be so exhausted that we want to spend our date nights just doing extra work, or taking naps. It has also changed for the better in some ways as well. I appreciate Megan much more now that she helps raise my beautiful daughter. Going through 60 hours of labor together, accomplishing something so great together, changed our relationship forever. We didn’t know we had that strength in us.

8. What do you do when Megan is at work? (From Peter)

If I’m watching Alice I’ll usually take her on a walk, watch TV with her, or play with her with her toys or books. Today we went to the elementary school down the street and played some basketball. If I’m not watching Alice and Megan is at work I’m either at work, napping, making food for myself/Alice (Megan doesn’t eat what I cook usually), or playing xbox.

9. Have you always been stylish?

Absolutely not. Once I grew up in my late 20s I finally got some sense of fashion and ditched the skater shoes and spiky punkrock hair.

10. Where does Mr. Lasertron get inspiration from?

I’m not really one that receives inspiration. My brain is mostly analytical, but when I do get that creative bug it usually comes from any sort of video game, scifi/fantasy movie/book, or roleplaying game I’ve done in the past. Most of that nerd energy gets channeled into some sort of obscure joke on twitter that pretty much nobody thinks is funny except me.

11. If Mr. Lasertron ruled a country he would… (From Emma)

I would probably dump an insane amount of money into fancy alternative energy sources that provide both excellent energy for my citizens and also help to fixate atmospheric carbon.

12. If you could choose an outfit for Princess Lasertron and Babytron, what would you choose?

Megan and Alice would both have to wear an outfit that’s kind of an old tymee swimsuit from the 30s with a parasol. They would be the awesomest mother/daughter combo ever.

13. What is your favorite dinner to cook?

Chana Masala is the best food on the planet.

14. What is your favorite 80′s movie?

Probably Aliens. Robocop is also amazingly good.

15. Lemonade or Iced Tea?

I like iced tea. I’m not really into sugary drinks like lemonade.

16. I would love to see one of Dave’s recipes that he likes to share with Alice. I think Vegan cooking is so interesting. Is it hard to be vegan? (From Amanda)

1. 1/4th cup red lentils
2. 1/4th cup cleaned quinoa
3. 1 tbspn olive oil (more for flavor than for actual cooking)
4. 1/2 cup some kind of mushy vegetables
5. 1/4th tspn curry powder (no salt. babies don’t really need salty stuff)
6. 1/4th tspn cumin seed, ground or whole
7. 1/4th tspn ground coriander seed.
8. Lots of water (start with a cup, but more will probably be added throughout the cooking)

Throw the lentils, quinoa and water into a small saucepan and set for low or medium low heat. Add a little bit of salt just to make the water boil at a higher temperature but not really enough to taste. Bring to boil then set for low head and cover and let simmer. Add vegetables and spices. Stir occasionally and keep an eye on how much water has boiled off. The trick is to keep checking the consistency vs the amount of water left. You want it to turn into mush obviously so the kid can eat it. You typically have to simmer for about 40 minutes. If you’re running low on water but the concoction isn’t mush yet then simply add some more water. Once it’s mush continue to boil until you get a slightly watery applesauce consistency. Let cool and let the kid eat away. This stuff also stays good in the fridge for about a week. I like eating it too so I usually make a lot.

xo

33 things I love about you.

1. your committment
2. goth night
3. moving four times
4. your love of fashion
5. your patience
6. sunday morning all-I-can-eat pancakes
7. matching outfits
8. kitty faces
9. lady gaga glasses

10. that you ride your bike everywhere
11. that you always let me pick out the best french fries and eat the rejects
12. that you’re the best at your job
13. sweater vests
14. that you let me paint your nails and draw on you
15. that we’re both super messy…at least we can’t blame it all on me that way.
16. your willingness to help me with my work
17. that you’re not too good to sleep on bunny sheets
18. watching your love for our girl grow every day

19. that you always put the laundry out on the clothesline
20. that you taught me how to drive our car
21. that you never leave the house without brushing your teeth
22. your playful nature and love of games
23. your hilarious tattoos (in my opinion)
24. that I can always find you in a crowd because you tower over everybody
25. your love of dancing
26. that we share a love of german language and culture
27. that you aren’t afraid to look silly in public
28. late night milkshakes and french toast
29. adopting a kitty
30. wanderlust

31. your eagerness to participate in creating our home
32. that you extend your boundless compassion to all creatures
33. your immense kindness

I love you.

The first of many.

I love you, sweetheart. Thank you for my amazing life.

I love this way of storing tights–it is the easiest way I have found to keep them all organized and untangled in my drawer. I stuff the waist of each pair inside a toilet paper tube (or you can use a cut-up wrapping paper tube left over from Christmas!) and then wrap the legs around the outside.

A few sweet questions from you…

How do you and Dave keep your relationship strong when you work opposite schedules?

I have gotten this question a few times. I actually feel like we spend more time together than most couples who both work 8-5. I often sleep while he’s at work (which is three minutes away) anyway, so it’s not like we’re missing out on time together then. When he gets home I’m awake and we relax and spend the rest of the evening together, and then I go back to bed early in the morning. Sometimes we meet for lunch. We talk online all day. Usually we are also together all weekend too. We have always just been best friends.

How long will you stop working (if at all) when Alice is born?

Well, I haven’t really cleared any time for this year, but for May and June I am only taking five brides per month instead of fifteen. Hopefully I can finish those orders long before my due date and have several weeks to relax–right now I still have energy so I am just hustling to do about twice as much as usual.Then that will pay off after Alice is born and I will be all caught up. Right now I’m still ahead of schedule!  It is SO nice that I work at home.

Between now and my due date, I am also planning with three of my friends to bring something really big and awesome to the Omaha creative community that will take up a lot of time and energy for us–but luckily, there are four of us to divide the labor (and the spoils!). I can’t wait until I can talk more about that…probably by the end of February?

Post more pictures of Dave’s outfits!

Okay. This is him at lunch yesterday–pretty much all he ever wears is a button-up shirt, a sweater vest, and Diesel jeans. Add or subtract a tie, add or subtract a jacket. This shirt and vest are both Ben Sherman.  I should have HIM make outfit posts!

Working on my application for Omaha Fashion Week today…I have to make a Powerpoint Presentation. Welcome to the 90s!

I was going to wear my favorite Karta dress and I was elated that it still fit me, but after I got my hair and makeup done and Dave came to help me zip it up, the zipper split.

While Dave worked hard googling “split zipper” and trying to fix it, I moped for half an hour or so because I couldn’t find anything else that fit and was remotely formal. But I think I did a good job of prettying up this big tent-y dress from Ryu. And luckily it was comfortable.

Dress: Ryu
Belt: Kimchi Blue
Tights: Forever 21
Shoes: Etienne Aigner

The theme was “masquerade” so we went as kitties.

What did you do to ring in the new year? Quiet and relaxed or crazy and wild?

kits!

Hi everyone.  Mrlasertron here.  Megan and I took a trip to the hospital on tuesday morning.  She had been complaining of stomach pains and it got pretty bad the night before so we went to see what our doctor had to say about it.

We had an ultrasound done of her abdomen and it turns out one of her ovaries had a hemorrhagic cyst, which in layman’s terms means her ovary swelled up and was causing her stomach pain.  The doc says the baby is fine (and we got to see her kicking and squirming while they were doing the ultrasound), and that she’ll just need to rest for a couple of days and let her body heal itself.  But let me tell you oh man her ovary was like four times as big as the other one.  I also got to see her liver, kidneys, appendix, gal bladder, and pancreas.  What a treat!

Anyway she wanted me to update all her readers.  We’re fine, the baby’s fine, and we’ve been camping out on our couch catching up on Law and Order:SVU episodes (thanks netflix streaming!).  She also wanted me to say that all of her Cyber Monday orders were shipped on tuesday, except for the kits which she’s working on right now.  The kits will be sent out by the end of the week (I imagine I’ll be helping with that).

1. move some heavy things downstairs and vaccuum and maybe create a sitting area where you can sit and watch tv with me while I work

2. eat tofu from a restaurant

3. do our hair like the guest judge on the project runway finale

4. go to that maternity store in rockbrook

5. get ingredients for our contribution to thanksgiving dinner

6. let me teach you how to make a pom pom for fun

7. play with my new camera toy

7. go to some antique and thrift stores to look for cute furniture

…or we can do this NEXT saturday.

you are cool.
xo

I’ve been having a lot of fun with my husband Dave lately. Buying a house, taking a little time off work, and doing things around town (excited for Omaha Fashion Week this Saturday) has been awesome and I try to remember all the funny things Dave says to me:

dave: look! I have alllllll the kitties.
me: when I die when I’m 55 because I ate cheese and you live to be 120 because you never do, you’re going to become a crazy cat man.
dave: I’m going to buy 100 cats and name them alllllll megan.

dave: megan
dave: megan
dave: megan you can spell ‘wanker’ with amino acids. cool huh.
me: yeah.
dave: that’s my favorite one, wanker. if I was making a test, I would tell my students, “okay guys, draw the protein ‘wanker.’” I wonder how many times ‘wanker’ comes up in our dna code. like in a protein. like how often our dna codes for the protein ‘wanker.’
dave: megan
dave: megan did you hear that?
me: yeah, that’s really good

Yup, I like Dave. He works hard, makes me laugh, and does almost all of the chores (he’s the Felix to my Oscar). I recommend marrying your best friend.

dear david:
happy happy happy happy birthday. you are the sweetest, kindest man to ever be born.

love,
meg

For his 32nd birthday, Dave wanted to invite friends over and try his hand at making sushi. We started with traditional avacado rolls, then made asparagus rolls, and I think they looked great!

As the beer flowed, peanut butter rolls and frosting rolls were added to the mix…my boys will eat anything.

The sushi looked better than my vegan funfetti cupcakes (look how cute they were in the original picture!!! My cupcakes NEVER turn out like that). They look like a sheet of cookies but sadly they are just my schlumpy misshapen cupcakes.

But they tasted GLORIOUS.

About 15 people came in and out and we all ended up on the porch talking until about 7am.

I love our friends. Thanks to everyone who came over.

And David, I love you. Stay fabulous forever!