Posted on May, 18. 2010 Category in the studio Tags
Embroidery is the perfect way to pass the time with a baby laying on your chest.
Because I’m so behind on everything, I’m not taking any more custom orders for headbands right now. However I do have a few dozen to upload to the store one of these days, whenever I get to that.
Posted on May, 17. 2010 Category in my closet pertaining to alice Tags
Sitting on the couch feeding Alice for like every 25 seconds for the last few days made me decide that it’s time to get a laptop. If you’re one of the people who are waiting for an e-mail from me, you probably agree.
Dave and I packed up a little bag and took Alice to the store and looked over some options. I ended up with a slick little HP–I admit I chose it for looks but it got good reviews. I will be able to get more work done with an infant now, and I wanted a laptop for CAMP anyway–it’ll be nice to have when I start working away from home.
I love this dress and it’s kind of the only thing that fits me, so don’t get too excited about new outfits. Bummer that I cant nurse in it!
Bracelet: Forever 21
Sunglasses: Betsey Johnson
Bag: Shinzi Katoh
Alice was so good at the store! I held her in a wrap and she never fussed. It seems like she is turning out to be nocturnal like her mama. We’ll see how long that lasts–I don’t know her very well yet!
Posted on May, 15. 2010 Category pertaining to alice Tags
This is continued from the first part of Alice’s birth story published here.
So I continued with hard labor throughout Friday night. Some of you who follow me on Twitter read as my husband and I posted throughout the weekend. It started out fun keeping everyone updated, but as hours and hours passed and I was not progressing, there was really little to say except “Hour 24. No news yet,” “Hour 36, no news yet,” “Hour 45, still in labor,” “Hour 50. Still no baby.”
On Saturday, our birth instructor Kristen came to serve as a doula for Dave and I. Dave was able to take a much-needed nap and Kristen continued to encourage me and help me relax the pain away. She stayed with us for almost 24 hours. If she had not been there, Dave and I would have felt like giving up. It got to the point where I felt so mentally foggy–not just because of the pain, but mostly because of the exhaustion–that I couldn’t hear what people were saying, I couldn’t understand the questions the nurses were asking me, and I felt completely detached from my own body. The contractions were double and triple-peaking, and with my eyes closed I felt surrounded by gray haze, floating down an endless foggy tunnel before me.
Hour 55. Sunday morning. My birthday. Mother’s day.
I had not progressed past 4cm although I had the emotional signposts of someone at 7 or 8cm. I felt like I was unconscious, floating down that tunnel, and Dave kept waking me because I would stop breathing. My doctor and nurses had a realistic concern that I would not be able to push Alice out unless I got some rest. It was the most intense feeling I have ever had, but I know I could have withstood the pain until delivery. It was the exhaustion I could not endure. I had not had food or rest in almost three days.
Dave supported me as I lay in his arms on the edge of the delivery table. My contractions came, double and triple-peaking. Dave and Kristen really gave me what I needed at this time–they knew my wishes and helped me advocate for myself and consent to have an epidural. It was completely painless to me and Dave carefully lowered my body onto the bed where I slept for the next three hours.
Three hours later, a nurse woke me up and told me I was at 10cm and they could see Alice’s head. I sat up feeling alert, calm, and determined. I could feel the waves of contractions but I could not feel my legs or bottom. I felt the pressure increase, and I felt the instinct to push. In the mirror I saw my daughter’s birth.
The end of my labor was so bizarre–I was completely out of my body. I was somewhere else, and the woman everyone was supporting and helping was just a shell. And then at the end, it was all over so quickly. It was over as fast as the rest of the labor had been slow.
I no longer felt any regret about having an epidural. Do I want to have one next time? No, I want to try again to have a normal, natural birth. I don’t feel like Alice’s birth was normal–the heavy unexplained bleeding, 55 hours at 3cm while my contractions triple-peaked–and maybe a natural birth expert would disagree with me. But Dave, my doula Kristen, and the nurses and doctors were right–I could not have pushed Alice out without getting some rest. I knew that the epidural could have led to a cesarean section. I knew it could affect Alice’s alertness at birth and lead to other adverse outcomes. But I was lucky to have a brilliant anesthesiologist who helped me reach my goal instead of disempowering me after all of the work I had put in.
It was my entire support team–Dave, Kristen, my mom, the doctor and nurses, the anesthesiologist, even the friends I made in the birth class–who gave me the strength to succeed. Without them I think I would have submitted to my own discouragement, which I never did.
I truly had my best birth and everything I did led to the best outcome for me. I am so proud of myself. And the best moment of my entire life was when the doctor lifted her onto my chest and I saw the tears streaming down Dave’s smiling face as he placed his hand on her back. My entire life. There was no way I could have prepared for how beautiful that moment was.
I love my little family. We are going to have so much fun.